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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:46 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 6:47 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:32 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:01 pm 
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are you seriously this dense tobi?
I was about to ask you the same. All you've done so far is either ignore or disregard anything I've said. You want "constructive critisism"? Fine.
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I think it's fair to say after enough time, combined with a lack of focus on where the site is headed, combined with recent discord drama, and combined with unchecked discord toxicity against members who aren't exactly site banned get to be subjected to.
I fail to see your point here. You start out your sentence like you're trying to make one, but I fail to see it.
On the subject of members who aren't exactly site banned, if I were to make the calls, you would have been since there is enough reason for it to happen judging from the forum's chat. I suppose you were given another of your many second chances and I'm not surprised by how you decided to use that chance in the end.
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We've failed to not bring the issues from CI with us,
I've been on CI for many years and this place is nothing like CI except it has a chunk of the members on it. I've not seen any drama until you, Ari and a select few others stirred it up for whatever reasons you had. The others not even being CI members if I recall.
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as far as I'm aware the link to the discord is dead but given what's been allowed to happened.
I'll assume what you mean here is that you understand the reasoning behind killing the link because otherwise I don't know your point here.
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Because I should listen to people who get a kick out of calling me a person who hates minorities while ignoring that I'm still engaged to bun.
This is in no way a valid argument especially when this post briefly didn't exist anymore because you decided to use a slur. I don't necessarily think you hate minorities anyway, but you do seem to have trouble behaving properly around them somehow from what I've seen.
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Yesterday it was me, today Ari, who else is going to get the boot? I'm sure all of you will come up with an answer the longer I stay out of any of this, then you get to enjoy the community that was already split break down even more.
You got the boot for a valid reason, which I hoped you would have accepted by now. You haven't been around the chat but since your ban the community has experienced a slight growth. Without even knowing that why would you insist the community is some sort of clique. Heck, while you were still in the chat there were plenty of strangers who have grown into the community. A community wants everyone to feel comfortable within that community, something people that were booted disrupted.
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But I'm putting my foot down at letting the community think it's acceptable to act like schoolyard children, I doubt any admin likes any of the crap all of you do and were even surprised by what they didn't catch. Am I going to hear jokes that would have me and others banned out of transexuals there too? Are there anymore double standards anyone can expect?
You make it sound like you're not in the chat anymore because we disliked you. Please tell me you're not that oblivious. There were completely valid reasons for everyone who got banned to be banned, and I hope you can set aside your pride to see that. No lack of privilege would have prevented any bans.

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:56 pm 
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the fact that this is even happening should tell you that there is no point to any of this. triert was banned from the discord for making users widely uncomfortable by talking over someone’s assault trauma to discuss “lol what about men false assault accusations huh!!!!” as if it has ANY place in the discussion compared to someone it ACTUALLY happened to. ari was banned for saying awful things to specific users, unprecedented, for reasons that don’t really matter when you consider how vile her words were intended to be instead of trying to resolve whatever problem she had with them in a civil manner.

the community has truthfully agreed the discord is better without both of you because of triert having too many uncomfortable political debates, or even non political arguments, with people who don’t really know better or care, and with triert’s constant trait of wanting to win the argument made it even more so uncomfortable and infuriating. ari is guilty of making people feel like they can’t talk about anything without hearing an opinionated response that is usually ALWAYS negative, making people uncomfortable with constant sexual jokes and/or advances in public, despite being asked to stop, all she did was make them more tame. it’s not like we weren’t giving chances, this has been going on for a long while, and you’ve had numerous run ins with the staff on behavior. it’s not supposed to be personal, its people coming forward feeling uncomfortable and the staff asking you to behave around them. you failed, clearly.

you were both banned for your behaviors, there’s nothing toxic about people feeling highly uncomfortable around you. this has been a common pattern in your lives, yes? so maybe consider you need to change your behavior and be more respectful instead of grasping at straws and spinning a wheel to make a call out post about a whole discord instead of owning up to your mistakes. you have plenty of time, bans don’t get appealed for a while.

and as an individual that has willingly been your friend in the past, both of you, i’d still like to be. i want to see you be better, but at the point it has come to right now, it’s too unpleasant to be worth the effort.

move on.

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:45 pm 
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Should I post here? Maybe not but I mean not like it's going to do much more damage than has already been done.

From the perspective of a new member who wasn't around from Chao Island, the Discord isn't anywhere close to toxic. I'm not so much interested in arguing against Triert because clearly everyone else has made any points that I could at this point, and I wasn't sure how involved I should even get given that I wasn't directly involved the debacle, but I also want to stick up for my new friends who I believe don't deserve this in the slightest. This has been one of the most welcoming and supportive and friendly online communities I've been in period. I usually have a lot of trouble breaking into communities but I almost immediately felt comfortable in the server. Reality is, all the bans did was enforce that. Something had to be done because repeated rule breaking was happening constantly and the effects of those rules being broken among the community only helped to prove why those rules are enforced in the first place. In the few days prior to both bans the atmosphere of the server completely changed, people were uncomfortable, users became less active, something had to be done. When it comes down to it, the only toxicity in the server was coming from two people. Toxicity is starting sudden arguments about sensitive topics that the rules clearly state to avoid and refusing to back down and acknowledge you're being harmful when called out on it. Toxicity is not enforcing the rules that users agreed to.

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:16 pm 
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Because I should listen to people who get a kick out of calling me a person who hates minorities while ignoring that I'm still engaged to bun. Did TechnoGeisha come back or is he just borrowing retro's account? Yesterday it was me, today Ari, who else is going to get the boot? I'm sure all of you will come up with an answer the longer I stay out of any of this, then you get to enjoy the community that was already split break down even more.
Wha...why are you bringing me up, dude? Last I checked I defended you when people thought you stole the advent calendar. Isn't that worth anything?

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:27 pm 
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Once again, I never had a problem with being punished or debated on whether or not I deserved it. I get that I was making unwitting friends act as my therapist, and most people tell me I should have known better than to do that, but I genuinely was unaware of the impact. I can see why that might scare someone into tolerating me, I can see how me saying bad things about others can be taken as "hate people I don't like because I said so" or how it's threatening, because I guess it's a "wow, if jealousy or some slight makes her flip out, what would she try to do to me?" But I never intended to intimidate people into treating me nicely or I'll XYZ, or make people feel they couldn't talk about anything. Looking back, I realize I've been self absorbed and just because I have empathy problems does not mean I should not objectively know what positive communication is. The problem I have is for people to take symptoms and behaviors of my mental illness, that I admittedly haven't taken care of and did not effectively control and I had every opportunity to correct and did not and despite warnings continued to ignore that I was manifesting toxic behavior, and decide "well she just can't resist being manipulative, she abuses people, my illness doesn't make me do such and such so she should be able to behave" feels uncalled for. And Pocket, you're literally referencing a joke designed to invalidate me in public, so nothing personal but, I fail to understand being lectured at the same time you're engaging in the exact attitude that put me at tension with certain people in the first place. But maybe I'm overreacting, and there aren't any valid reasons for continued dismissal of my feelings that despite numerous complaints from me, I could get no one to address since the day I met those three lolsfgghjl ari ur edgy jokers, to aggravate my condition to the point I feel like hitting back is the recourse. Wrong doesn't make right, but at least I'm gaining self awareness.


I didn't enjoy upsetting people, I'm not proud of it, and I don't like being that person. Also Jhin, I am trying to get better, just saw psych the other day, have started other meds and treatment, and that's all I can do now. Maybe one day you'll meet a healthier me. I don't want people uncomfortable, I'll get over it.

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:42 pm 
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Dude like,
I can only say like sorry people are upset that Ari literally held somebody emotionally hostage for like half a year.

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 Post subject: Re: Discord Toxicity
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:48 pm 
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regardless of my personal thoughts on the matter, i'm going to lock the thread for now to prevent further provocation towards one another. ari and triert can PM staff if they so see the need to if they'd like to continue this discussion.
it's simply going to be as it is however, ari and triert made the server feel stressful and we are to resolve that problem as we see fit. if you truly wish to appeal to any of this, it can be considered in the future, but now, please

an admin can unlock this thread if need be, but for now, i'd like the dust to settle a bit before people end up at each others throats more

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